Victimhood gets shamed a lot in my personal development circles. (It’s so easy to blame the victim for feeling dis-empowered.) I actually believe people have to be allowed to fully embrace their victim experience in order to gather the wisdom, strength and safety to rise above it. One of the greatest services we can do to another human being is to witness and validate a person’s experience with full respect. I find that once a person feels fully heard and understood, that’s when space opens up to ask something like, ‘do you want to let this experience win, or are … Continue reading »

Friday I left a voice message for my estranged mother to tell her I love and appreciate her. It took me four tries to build up the courage to speak to her answering machine.   This is my first communication to her in over a decade.   I told her that if she was open to it, I’d love to come by and give her a kiss goodbye before she moves across the country. Maybe even introduce her to my husband. And if she’s not open, that’s perfectly okay, too. I love her and wish her every happiness.   She … Continue reading »