Today I thought I’d share my own personal story, to illustrate how to rapidly and permanently change your Relationship with Money from Monster to Honey.

I was always told, “Go to school, get good grades, do good work and you’ll make money.”

Ha! Lies! They have little to do with each other.

My Tale of Woe

In 2002 I was struggling to make a hundred dollars a month, holding on to one half of a not very good client. Think about that: $100 a month in Los Angeles, where a studio apartment at that time cost $1,800.

Top that.

I was doing everything I was supposed to do—I had the coaches and the website, the business cards, the brochures, a mountain of client success stories, the fancy east coast education and professional certifications, and I had the prettiest vision board and a millionaire mindset.

Big effing deal. I was still making $100 a month.

I tried every class and at least a dozen coaches on inner game and outer strategy. I was a great student and did everything I was told. Nothing worked. I flew out of town (on credit card debt) every month to take a new class and get more skills, more certifications, more proof that I deserved to be paid. No difference. When I ran out of ideas and out of hope (and cash) I plummeted into a black hole. I couldn’t stop crying.  I hated the Universe, and the Universe hated me. I was so angry, hurt and hopeless that I wanted to take my ball and leave the game of life. I’d been working on this problem for years. I couldn’t take it any more.

Then the weirdest thing happened. A coach friend called and asked, “Morgana, if your money were a PERSON, who would your money be?”

My money “person” instantly appeared in my mind’s eye: a big, scary, dirty, violent biker. He terrified me. I could see myself watching him to keep maximum distance between the two of us.

The Money Monster

For the first time in my life, my financial situation made sense: I was PROTECTING myself from money. Who knew? It became crystal clear to me that if this biker was my money, I would never be able to have money in my life. He was too terrible, too terrifying. Not a good dude.

I had to get rid of the biker—my “Money Monster.”  By any means necessary. Only one of us was going to survive.

Getting rid of the biker created a new problem: now I had no relationship with money. And I live in Los Angeles. I could feel the empty space that used to be occupied by the biker. I knew I had to do something before another monster showed up to fill that space.

I carefully asked myself, “who could I want in my life so much that I would want this person even though it’s money?”

This was an important question: as anyone who has ever been in an abusive relationship knows, we don’t want to jump back in to the nightmare we just escaped. I needed a new person who was so worthy of my love and admiration that I’d be willing to give this relationship a chance.

The Money Honey

As soon as I asked the question, my new Money “Honey” appeared: tall, dark, handsome, romantic, safe, loving, and very, very cute. (Yes, I had to turn money into a cute guy, just to be nice to it.) He was the opposite of the monster in every way.

The monster represented all that was wrong, hurtful, unsafe and unloving in the world—everything we must protect ourselves from. The new Money Honey represents our relationship with life when we are safe, loved, and aligned with our power, wisdom and worth.

This was another full body experience. Here was a sweet guy worthy of my deepest love and admiration. And here’s the kicker (and this was a surprise): this new “money” person LOVED me and wanted to woo me.

WARNING!  This process only works when it’s personal: when we imagine these archetypes in human form. Anything else is abstract and unbelievable. We must make this relationship feel REAL, bigger than just an intellectual exercise. That’s when results happen.

I could feel how deeply this new person loved me and wanted to stay with me. I could feel how much I had hurt him over the years, pushing him away like a monster. I could feel how much power I have in this relationship: I have the body. It’s up to me.

I asked my money-person, “What do you need from me to allow you to stay with me?”

Money responded, “I need you to love me and stop treating me like a monster.”

Love before Fear

In that moment I vowed to put Love before Fear, and to be a good relationship partner. I promised that next time he brought me a gift–usually in the form of a prospective client–I would say, “Thank you” by not shying away or apologizing for my fee.

In fact, I would state my fee as if I was introducing my sweetheart, with the subtext, “Isn’t he wonderful?”

Results came quick. The next day four people hired me for twice what I’d ever charged before. I had to bite my tongue to not shove a free sample session down their throat.  Instead, I said the craziest thing I’d ever said in my life. I said, “Great. Here’s my fee. When do you want to begin?”

The clients kept coming and coming and coming. As have all the major television networks, National Public Radio, United Press International, Yahoo Finance, and the Wall Street Journal. I’ve become known as “the Money Honey lady,” “the money maven,” and “the world’s leading relationship with money coach.”

Then in 2012 I used the same process to slay my Love Monster, and I met my husband 2 months later. Married him in 2014. At least the first time. We’re 26 weddings deep into getting married 100 times in 100 countries.

Fun Fact: my client results went stratospheric. Four clients broke through 7 and 8 figures the year after we married. More join their ranks every year.

I believe, with all my conviction, that when you’re doing everything in your power to get a result, and it’s not happening, you are protecting yourself from what you want. It’s not an accident. There are ALWAYS good reasons. You cannot have what you fear and despise. Something must change on the inside before it can change on the outside.

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PS: How’s YOUR Money Love Life?  Take this QUIZ  and find out!

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MORGANA RAE is an internationally acclaimed life coach, author, and professional speaker, who is regarded as the world’s top Relationship with Money coach. Morgana’s groundbreaking program for attracting wealth has featured her on ABC-TV, PBS, NPR, United Press International and The Wall Street Journal online. Learn how to become a Money Magnet with her FREE 4-part video gift series. Fill out your name and email at the top of the page. (We promise not to share your info!)