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Money and Jealousy

“How do you deal with Money and Jealousy?”

A reader writes that having money can sometimes become a source of conflict in her personal and professional relationships. Some of the time this conflict can arise from jealousy. She would love to hear my take on this battle in terms of financial alchemy…

Take My Hand

First of all, great topic! Let me start with my own admission. Years ago I would see a friend of mine charge a lot of money, a LOT of money, way beyond what I was charging…

 

My own dance with Money Jealousy

 

MY first reaction was judgment. How dare she? How does she think she’s worth that? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah… and then I paused and thought, “What if I’m meant to see this for a reason? What reaction would serve my personal growth?”

 

I noticed that people were actually paying her astronomical fee! We’re talking $10,000 for two-days, or $100,000 for a year. It seemed ridiculous to me. And people were paying her!

 

So I made a decision and created a mega-breakthrough in my own income.

 

I’m not saying that those are the right prices for me or not. But what I am saying is it was more USEFUL for me to not feel jealous and condemning of my friend. Instead I chose to think, “Wow! Thank you for showing me what’s possible. Thank you for showing me how small I’ve been holding my world. Thank you for teaching me that there are people out there who can–and will–invest in themselves at that level.”

 

What a gift to get to see that, because it completely blew up my false beliefs that clients are too poor and they can’t afford stuff. I see people all the time invest $20,000, $50,000, $100,000 in coaching!

 

I’m not saying that’s the right price point for you. But instead of being jealous, try experiencing gratitude for seeing what is possible. This IS an option, and there are people out there who want to invest in themselves on that big a level.

 

So that’s one side of the jealously equation.

 

The other side is that other people have their Money Monsters that are keeping them poor, and keeping them frightened, and are feeding their judgment and jealousy about anybody else who might be more successful than them. And I know that it’s perfectly possible to feel inferior and superior than other people at the same time: slamming people making more money than you, but also secretly wishing that you had their success.

 

So, here’s what I want you to know: When you get really successful and you make a lot of money, there will be somebody out there who feels jealous of you. I guarantee it. You will be criticized. Big deal. There will also be people out there who will want to take advantage of you. They are acting from their own fear and their own bad relationship with money. They’ll be looking at you as a bank instead of as a human being. It’s unfortunate, and it happens.

 

The good news is if you have a really good relationship with money, and you are partnered with your Money Honey, you have strong boundaries. You will attract people who love and value you for yourself. You will be less attached to your detractors. And you will recognize and say “no” to the predators.

 

You are going to have this relationship with money for the rest of your life, so you must make it a good one. You must prioritize this relationship–with a “Money Honey” who speaks to you for your highest good, and loves you and champions your value. You must make this relationship more important than that stranger who wishes you harm and doesn’t value or respect you.

 

Don’t cheat on your Money Honey for some stranger who has his or her own issues!

 

I used to think, when I first began this work, that it was really only for people who were struggling to make money. But over the years I’ve attracted some extremely wealthy people, seven, eight, nine figure entrepreneurs, even a  couple of billionaires. These issues that I talked about–of people being jealous, of people wanting to take advantage, and of people looking at you as the bank instead of as a human being–are real issues. That’s another way a Money Monster can show up. But you don’t have to have that Money Monster.

 

So if you’re building your wealth now; NOW is the best, best time to clean up your relationship with money. Get rid of the monster and learn how to create a new relationship with your Money Honey.

 

Then, when you start making money, it’s in alignment with your highest values. Your relationship with money supports loving human relationships, and you can build a foundation of wealth and value that you get to keep.


  1. Vivian S. De Guzman
    January 21, 2016 at 8:33 pm

    Thanks for the reminder.

  2. Danne Reed
    July 12, 2018 at 6:43 am

    This is so helpful, Morgana! Thanks so much for sharing your experience and your genius!

  3. Jacque Cann
    July 12, 2018 at 11:16 am

    This is a great reminder!
    I make jewelry, and specialize in custom & semi-custom pieces, but have some what I call pre-crafted (i.e., stock) pieces that I sell at craft fairs. I do my best to not be jealous of those who charge more than I do – usually not too difficult, as they generally work exclusively with gold, sterling silver, etc. However, I find that I have a bigger problem of resentment towards others folks who also do handcrafted jewelry but charge less than I do for my pre-crafted pieces! They usually are doing it as a hobby, while I am striving to make this my lively hood. Is there a flip side viewpoint to dealing with this type of resentment?

    • Morgana
      July 12, 2018 at 11:56 am

      Jacque, two thoughts:

      1) What is the desire behind your resentment of people who do jewelry as a hobby instead of a livelihood? Is it a feeling of financial security? Focus on creating that.
      2) Never compare your insides to other people’s outsides. You don’t know what’s going on with other people, really. You may think it’s a hobby for them. Or they lack the confidence to charge what you do. You just can’t know. Even if they say it’s a hobby… we really don’t know the whole story in other people’s lives.

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