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Ask Morgana: “How do I feel grateful?”

I just got an email from a client who’s in pain on a day devoted to “gratitude.” Here’s what I wrote to her, in case this can be of service to anyone else out there hurting:

“You are under no obligation to say “thank you” when suffering. And yet it can be comforting to say “thank you” for whatever you can–your talent to heal, your ability to think, speak, move, see, etc. But I think it’s cruel to tell someone in pain that they “should” be grateful for anything. Choose what works for you, darling.”

It’s usually after the fact, after we’ve come out the other side, that we can be grateful for the experience. And it’s really the hard parts of life that teach us empathy, and for that I’m grateful.

Warmest regards,

  1. Morgana,

    Thanks for your timely post. I, too, am “in pain” this Thanksgiving and have been encouraged by others to feel grateful for all that I have instead of feeling the sadness of my loss. I appreciate the permission to just “be”. And, yes, I am still grateful and look forward to all the blessings and lessons that my situation brings me.

  2. Biljana says:

    You are an amazing human being that changed my life instantly( just like my tween sister).
    We all have a different kind of pain but the bottom line is what is the underneath of that pain.
    Being grateful does not cost us anything, but it does give us everything.
    For people who are in pain my advise is :
    Pay attention to your thoughts. They lead our emotions, and emotions lead our actions.
    Since I discovered “My Money Honey” my life is changing every single second, so being in huge pain I just made a choice to be kind and grateful first to myself, and than to everybody end everything that I have in my life.
    I was an Optimist In Action All My Life, and as an Optimist In Action I Was Not Empowered and Inspired by My Parents, Family, or Friends.
    I was primarily Inspired by My Great Teachers (from All Around the World). They are Ordinary People who Live Extraordinary Lives.
    They Live What They Preach ( I Got What I Asked for, I got You as my “Money Honey” teacher).
    Love and Peace Within
    Biljana Vancouver BC, Canada

  3. Lorrayn says:

    Yes gratitude is the great healer.
    When the pain hits one of my great teachers suggests going out and finding somebody worse of then you and helping them.
    I love this advice.

  4. Alexander says:

    Morgana ,

    What a luminous impression of your considerate brevity ! It really touched me to Consciously recognize the distinction you make between ” should ” – and the expressions of pure encouragements .

    The ” digitized ” existence – is not necessarily always inductive to unobstructed empathic transmissions- ( depending on the medium, circumstances, expressions, time spent sitting in front of it , posture, the quality of the technology ) — and is ever a bane upon the perceptions and reception, which it dilutes and often distorts, making specificity in the natural sense such a challenge . Often people react to their own discomforts rather than to the other person, and are unable to separate one from the other, rendering the internet an anathema for some that are conscious . From what i know some Zen monasteries actually explicitly require no use of the internet, as it causes ” dislocation of the Mind substance ” – esp . for those who wish to dedicate it purely for the purposes of Enlightenment, as novitiates .

    — All the same, we can overcome ” the gap ” – any gap – where the consistent priority ” should ” always be on caring for the feelings and hearts of others and be made into a staple of the devoutest considerations – and it truly can not be stressed enough in context to typographical communications , where the mind always has a tendency to
    ” forget ” – to ” roam around ” – the feelings of the ‘ Other ‘ – since the feedback mechanisms tend to grow vague, and thought interferes and at times distort the context – or can in the case of some .

    May my Gratitude be redeemed to you in utmost earnestness for your gentle reminder in this vein of your expression which is so beautiful in it being an aspect of your inmost and might i say – highest nature, as it is of us all – May all beings – sooner than later – realize this within their very beings as an experience also and emanate it in all
    directions . Let none either forget it, nor neglect it .

    ” See you on the Other Side ” — as the adage goes ! : )

    Love and Light !

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