Coming back to life
Life happens. I’m writing today because I see so many people are going through dramatic life events. A lot of my friends have joined me in the “dead dad club” this year, or suffered comparable losses.
Coping skills and positive thinking are awesome and helpful, and yet I really think we need to make some space to include the reality of grief and challenge as sacred and inevitable parts of our journey.
For that reason I’m going to be transparent about my own process…
The first part of this year was brutal. It was characterized by huge losses and letting go.
- Letting go of a life time of possessions my father loved, that reminded me of him. Too many of his things ended up in dumpsters when we couldn’t sell or even give away his prized antiques. Ouch.
- Letting go of Dad’s house. I so wanted to fix it up–it felt to me like it would be fixing up my father’s body–but I respected my stepmother’s desire to sell the house and have funds handy in case we needed extra cash for my father’s care.
- Ultimately selling my father’s house to an abusive buyer who was trespassing and stealing things before the escrow closed on my birthday. Ugh. Our realtor/attorney offered no protection: she was representing the buyer, too.
- My father passed in May.
- My birth mother moved to another state without saying goodbye.
And this was all on the heel’s of my grandmother’s death and my aunt’s cancer diagnosis and my grandfather’s decline. While stressing over ice loss and rising temperatures, so I’ve been grieving our planet, too. (There’s an actual term for this: “ecological grief.”)
I know I’m not alone in these experiences. That’s why I’m writing today. This is life.
I also wanted to be really clear: my life is blessed beyond belief. And crap still happens. Because it’s part of the design.
I see a lot of messaging in the personal development world to always be happy, always be building your world-changing empire.
I’m calling horse-pucky on that narrative!
We have seasons in life. This year I had a long Winter.
Winter is not bad. Winter is necessary. This is when new growth is born long before we see it.
This year changed me. It changed my direction in some ways I haven’t shared with you yet.
But I’m getting ahead of myself here…
I wanted to share some of the things that made this period softer:
1) I created a lot of SPACE this year. You’ll notice I haven’t been doing a lot of big launches (at least not publicly). This was actually scary for me, because I love my business and love finding new creative ways to serve more people, but I fundamentally felt focusing on business expansion was out of integrity with my energy, and I’m always about the integrity. Hallelujah for having created enough abundance that I can take my foot off the gas when I need to.
2) Being surrounded by clients I adore on my 2019 Money Goddess Retreat was the BEST comfort in the world when I got the news of my father’s passing. Having the opportunity to focus on helping others really carried me through.
3) Devoting June to nothing but my father’s memorials, and accepting help from my husband and family and my father’s friends, turned sorrow into a celebration of love.
Then in July I decided it was time to focus on the living.
1) I scheduled my first ever, invitation-only Rich Witch Retreat the first week of September. It was amazing! It’s the first time I asked my husband–a relationship coach and Kabbalah teacher for over 20 years–to contribute. Now I’m hooked. I want to do more stuff together.
2) Devin and I threw ourselves into West Coast Swing FLASH MOB rehearsals! We got really good! And we joined hundreds of cities around the world dancing the same choreography to the same music on September 7. I dance as if my life depends on it, and dancing makes me HAPPY. It also prevents the Alzheimer’s disease that took my father’s life.
3) I bought 30-day round trip tickets to Paris, with a vague idea that my husband and I will travel around Western Europe and get married a few more times. I’ve spent the last week deep diving into on line French lessons. (Is 30 hours in 7 days a little obsessive? LOL.) We leave Monday.
Life is beautiful. Death makes it more precious.
So now we’re leaving for Europe in a few days. I promise to shoot a video EVERY DAY (“chaque jour,” en francais) and post it ASAP, wifi-willing, so you can come along with us.
As my grandmother said shortly before her death: “Life is about experiences. Have lots and lots of experiences.”
Come along for the experience with our daily video blogs from our upcoming European travel/wedding adventure!
I’ll be posting them at InTheKnowBride.com.
We’ll be talking about dating, marriage, sex, money, travel, magic, budget-friendly weddings, and more. It will be ridiculous… like us.
PS. You can already see a quick overview of our earlier weddings at www.InTheKnowBride.com and sign up for updates there.
Wanna reprint it for your blog or e-zine? Cool! Just post a “written by Morgana Rae” credit, and tell your readers to get my FREE Money Magnet Video Gift at www.morganarae.com. Thanks!