What are you apologizing for?
This weekend I was in Washington State, giving the keynote address (two hours!) to over 200 hundred women at the third annual “Women’s Day of Empowerment” in Olympia, Washington.
What an amazing experience!!!
I met women–coaches, healers, artists, marketers, bankers, broadcasters–I hope to know forever.
And I got to spend time with one of my dearest friends, Nancy Juetten, the author of “Bye-bye Boring Bio.”
She’s one of the sweetest, smartest, most successful women I know.
Truly one of the world’s leading experts on writing a sizzling bio that attract clients, cash, and media attention.
But I noticed she her doing something–something we ALL do–that wasn’t serving her at all.
She allowed me to share her (former!) mistake with you here. (BTW… she’s so OVER it!)
What was her big mistake? Watch today’s short video to find out!
By the way… Nancy’s world famous “Broadcast Your Brilliance” Webinar series
starts OCTOBER 5!
Click on www.bit.ly/BroadcastYourBrilliance to start with her
“Learn How to Pitch and Article the Media Can’t Resist!” teleclass and LISTEN NOW!
Wanna reprint it for your blog or e-zine? Cool! Just post a “written by Morgana Rae” credit, and tell your readers to get my FREE Money Magnet Video Gift at www.morganarae.com. Thanks!
So true! We often use the word “sorry” in an effort to be polite. How sorry of us:)
Yes thank you so much for this…I do apologize for a lot of things…things people are doing for me because they want to. I must not feel deserving of nice abundant things…so that was a great breakthrough for me….thank you
Thank you for this very big wake up call.
Many of the people I know have exotic lives that involve world travel and great adventure, so when I am called to speak about my personal life, I often think that I don’t have a lot of jazz to add to the conversation.
It’s true that I am a suburban soccer mom when I am not helping my clients broadcast their brilliance.
With your timely and welcome re-frame, I will now stand in and on the impact I make through my work and be proud of my happy family life that is without a doubt my greatest personal accomplishment.
I’ve been reluctant to say too much about that side of my life. I’ll step forward and get more personal going forward. No more apologies.
A goood point Morgana.
It goes along with the discussion I had over the weekend about trying to change people to fit in the classic mold for whatever century they are in.
I almost apologized this weekend when I was totally captivated by this sweet wild rabbit nibbling on grass instead of the beautiful mansion we were visiting. But I saved myself by saying the rabbit had excellent taste in choosing to live on such elegant grounds. What can I say I’m just a lady that totally enjoys universal energies, wildlife and pets.
I am so glad you have brought this to womankind’s attention. Men are always bragging about them selves & one upping each other. They seem to have fun w/it & tease each other. I know when I find myself apologizing or being self deprecating it is so I will be accepted rather than judged or criticized by whomever I am speaking with. Women can be very harsh towards one another & I do feel that society & the media play a huge role in perpetuating the perception that it is OK to constantly compare & judge women against each other. In our society we seem to respect the male ego, but not the female ego. I think that is why I apologize, because I don’t want to be dehumanized or hated for any happiness or accomplishment I enjoy in life.
So happy you pointed this out to Nancy, Morgana. We NEED more success stories to reach the mainstream that showcase happy, stable, thriving marriages that remain intact in this disposable world of relationships. There’s no greater gift to society and ourselves than to showcase wives/moms who also are successful in their own businesses/careers, whatever they may be.
And for the women who choose to stay home to raise their children, that’s quite ok, too!
These different roles are just so important to all of our futures and that of our children. Nancy and others should shout their success from the rooftops so others can dream, too!
I’m always apologizing to my husband for not having a steady stream of income, for having once again another business, and for jumping around in my job/career so much. Sometimes I wish I could just be a person who was happy having a 9-5 job with a paycheck. Instead I’m on business #4 trying to find my passion to bring to the world and feeling the pressure to finally get it right and earn a living.
Though he never pushes me, I do feel like I need to hurry up and bring in some income to help us out. The pressure is unbearable at times. So I often say to him I’m sorry for not having my life figured out in my career. I’m sorry it’s taking so long to market and get clients.
Hey Beautiful Money Goddess Morganna,
YAY i loved this insight, i totally agree with everything you said!
Too many women are Apologising instead of Celebrating their lives, their accomplishments, and their journeys. We have to stop comparing ourselves to men and start applauding, appreciating and celebrating the natural strengths women bring to the Planet!
We don’t need to be more like men to be successful and applauded – WE NEED TO BE MORE OF WHO WE ALREADY ARE.
I sure run into plenty of women who have done that and maybe achieved results others from the outside applaud but inwardly they feel like they have lost a part of their soul.in fact once upon a time that was me! Thankfully i got over it! LOL
LAdies it’s time to Celebrate our unique strengths, our journeys, each other and all we have accomplished and all we cherish. We have a relationship with everything and we should love all of it, it’s our lives and its here for growth, to add value to the planet and to enjoy the journey and experience of being alive!
YAY Morganna , luvyaa MWAH
Amen! It is time to celebrate, embrace, and value what makes us unique.
I used to apologize all the time too; I have two master’s degrees, worked on multimillion dollar grants with international scope and impact, and published research papers. Some of my “friends” outside the university told me to my face they thought I was a bookworm who couldn’t function outside the ivory tower in the “real world.” After hearing that a few times, I NEVER wanted to talk about my life, work, or school accomplishments with family and friends.
THEN I realized what rich life experiences I had in academia. Through the university, I:
Met many interesting and influential people: Janet Napolitano, Rudy Guiliani, Arlen Specter, Tim Holden, Rick Santorum, General Russell Honore, the Commissioner and VP of Security of every major professional sports league in the US, numerous Olympic athetes and world record holders, and people who lived in third-world countries or in conditions much different than mine
Visited diverse places: Mississippi Gulf Coast and New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina, Oak Ridge National Lab (home of the world’s fastest supercomputer), Stennis Space Center (where rocket engines are test-fired), Pearl Harbor, most of Spain and southern England, and numerous US cities
Received the catalyst to heal, change my life, find my purpose, and develop my coaching practice.
And as a bonus, if I feel so inclined, I can teach classees, coach, or write a book on “How to Choose Your Graduate Field of Study, Get Accepted into Graduate School, and Go to School Absolutely FREE.”
So now I say, h3!! yeah, I have two master’s degrees!
Which brings up another example.
This morning in the gym locker room a woman was standing in front of my locker. I was about ask if she could slide to side a bit so I could access it. Before I got the words out, she said, “Sorry.” I wanted to ask why she was apologizing….for being in existance? Taking her daugter to the gym to get some exercise and spend time together? Blocking someone’s locker despite the fact that the lockers are so close together, she’d be in front of more than one regardless of where she is in the locker room?
How often do you say “Sorry” as an almost-automatic response to someone? When and why? Is an apology really what you intend to communicate? If not, what could you say instead? Something to think about.