Inspired by my interview on Coast to Coast AM radio with George Noory, I felt compelled to share my thoughts on Success without Failure, my Near Death Experience, Karma, Wealth, and Life Purpose.
Oops. My mouth said “two years” when I meant “twenty years.” That’s one-take, live video for you!
Got any comments? Please share below.
And here’s the TRANSCRIPT for the readers…
Morgana: Hi. This is Morgana, your money goddess, and this is what’s on my mind today: I received an email yesterday from somebody who heard me on Coast to Coast Am radio with George Noory last week, and he wrote to me a story of how he won the lottery, I think back in 1985, 6.5 million dollars, whoa, and was bankrupt in 2005 two years later, and that is the norm. That is so common that there’s actually a whole field of psychology that studies only the negative affects of instant wealth, because it’s not an accident that people get rid of money.
Morgana: A client of mine many years ago inherited a huge amount of money, thought it was a good thing at the time because she could do so much good in the world and it destroyed her long-term romantic relationship, and all of her friends started looking at her as the bank instead of a human being. And you’d think if somebody has 22 million dollars, they have a great relationship with money. No, we had to change her relationship with money to improve all of her relationships, and then she could have a good experience of having this money and doing great in the world without making sacrifices that had made that money a curse and blood money… until we slayed her monster and created her money honey.
Morgana: So the focus of what I’m thinking about right now is, success without failure is, in my book, luck. It doesn’t teach you anything. It’s great and fun (yay you!) but, for example, if you have a coach or a teacher who only knows success and doesn’t know failure, they don’t have anything to teach.
Morgana: So I’ve been also receiving all these emails from people who are really in it, like really sad, scary circumstances and I don’t minimize that at all. They’re worried about their age, and they’re worried about their health, and they’re worried about their financial situation, and it’s scary. And I get it. And the only reason I can, I think, be with it without plunging off a cliff is that I’ve seen so many people, so many people in my lifetime as a coach who have been on the brink of the abyss, where it looks like, oh, my god, there’s no way they can get out of this. I have seen that so many times that now it’s like … it doesn’t really phase me. I feel it. I hurt for them. I respect them. I care for them. I also just have seen people come back from the impossible to have great health, and great income, and great relationships that my clients have taught me to have faith in what’s possible, and I hold that as possible for everyone, even if I don’t know how it’s gonna happen. And honestly, I rarely know how it’s gonna happen.
Morgana: So it’s a dance, because there’s a really horrible tendency that I’ve been railing about forever… actually, based on my own experiences with my own catastrophic car accident when I was 16. And my story is that I was on top of the world. The guy that I had had a crush on since I was 12 was now my boyfriend and wanted to marry me. I had straight-A’s so I could … the world was my oyster. I had great relationships with my parents. I was even thin. Everything, everything was mine and I lost it. I lost it in a moment when I was hit by a car and thrown in a coma, and I lost the guy. I lost my relationship with my mom. I lost my ability to think, remember, study, get good grades, function, sleep, eat healthy… because I would wake up starving and I’d need to consume thousands of calories because the hunger would go away and I could go to sleep. And I was like this for years, from 16 to 18.
Morgana: I was lonely, suicidal. My mother was getting violent and abusive. It was … I had to sleep on floors … After committing myself to a psychiatric hospital when I was 17, which may be why I was voted most mysterious senior at Granada Hills High School, because I disappeared and then I came back, I don’t know, I had to sleep on people’s floors. I graduated from high school sleeping on a dining room floor, just so that I could be close enough to school to graduate.
Morgana: So what I learned from that is, when I was happy and I was on top of the world, I had a certain hubris, a certain spiritual arrogance, like I was entitled to the great things in my life, where there was something superior about me because I got good grades and did my homework. Well, yeah because my brain functioned and I was just a real lesson in humility, and a very Buddhist experience in impermanence.
Morgana: And it, I hope, taught me to have more respect for the experience of others. And I came back from that injury and it was really messy, and it took a lot of years, and eventually even … I even broke down and took antidepressants after two years, because nothing else was working and that helped, and then I didn’t need them anymore.
Morgana: Boy, this is going in tangents. I didn’t expect.
Morgana: But really, the point is, these horrible experiences that we’re ashamed of, that make the world feel scary, and really, honestly, are the root cause of our money monsters, our love monsters, our health monsters, our success monsters, our god monster, like the-world-is-an-unsafe-place monster, they’re so valuable. It’s not an accident that in alchemy lead is the material that becomes the gold. We don’t skip the lead. We don’t just go straight to gold. The lead is not as valuable. It is what becomes the gold. So whatever in your life caused you the most pain, and shame, and hurt and fear, it would be such a shame to have survived that and waste it and not use it. Churn it into gold. It is your wisdom. It is what makes you an expert in some aspect of the human existence.
Morgana: And if you are in that dark place right now, really on the edge of the abyss, you’re not alone. We all go there. Stay alive. Stay alive long enough to come out on the other side. If you’ve tried everything and it didn’t work, join the club. That’s how my stuff was born. You’ve tried everything, but you haven’t found what works for you yet, and that doesn’t make that stuff wrong, and it doesn’t make you wrong. It’s just the wrong match. There’s something you need to learn, and when you learn it the struggle will no longer have a purpose, and no longer have a reason to exist and it will go away. That’s been my life experience.
Morgana: Oh, what does Denise write … “The lead does become the gold, but we need to turn it, direct it into the gold. It doesn’t just happen.” Yeah.
Morgana: And Yvonne says, “Her experiences made her an expert in empathy and compassion,” yeah. That’s why we have it. Our pain humanizes us, so that we aren’t insensitive monsters who don’t care about others. I think pain is an expression of love.
Morgana: I have a theory about karma. I dip into non-dual experiences periodically without drugs, without meditation. I just kind of go there. And years ago I had this experience, this message just came through me that karma is not what my mother taught me it was. Karma is not a punishment because you are a bad person and, “You better not do that, because you’ll come back in your next life with all these problems,” which was my mom’s way of telling me not to commit suicide by threatening afterlife consequences.
Morgana: Here’s what I believe karma is. Karma is love. Karma is curiosity. Karma is desire to know ourselves better. We are the entire universe broken into infinite pieces so we can fall in love and love ourselves. And the best way to do that is to become multiplicity, so that we can fall in love with ourselves through the other. And what karma is, is I love you so much that I am gonna come back and experience this horrible thing that you went through, so that I can know you better, so that I can love you better, so I can know your experience, and together we can heal the everything through this deeper understanding. That is my definition of karma. It’s really just an appetite, a desire for experience, a desire for knowing the other, a desire to love ourselves through the other.
Morgana: And when we get it, when we know it, when we get the lesson then we don’t need it anymore, so it’s not a bad thing. Although, it can feel like it sometimes. I don’t believe that the universe is inherently a punishing thing. That’s … Why would God be fear-based? Why would totality, universe, all that be fear-based? Doesn’t make sense to me. But in my experience of those moments of oceanic oneness, it’s all love, even the pain and the ugliness is just part of the art of existence.
Morgana: So those of you who have failed a lot and spectacularly, like me, yay us, yay you, that gives you a lot of insight, a lot of wisdom, a lot of knowledge of what doesn’t work, like Thomas Edison who failed, what, at least a hundred times or more before he got it right, and Abraham Lincoln who failed epically over and over and over again, until he didn’t. So, yay. You have more to offer from your experience of persevering. I think I posted yesterday something along the lines of, the people who keep pushing forward through adversity become the most successful because we, at some point, have to make a decision that nothing is going to stop us. The game of life is to learn first-hand, experientially, that we are bigger than our circumstances. And Rick [Tamlin 00:12:09], my coaching peer, and he was my mentor back in baby-coaching days, as he says, it’s all made up. I love that. What a great mantra. What a great message.
Morgana: So take your failures and build a solid foundation for real success that you can repeat by learning what it takes to get there. And even more important than knowing what to do is learning for yourself what not to do for you, because what worked for somebody else is useful to know and try, but don’t be attached to somebody else’s model because you’re not here to live their life. They’re already filling that niche. So just keep gathering information and moving forward and listening, listening to the universe for what she wants and how you can be best used. Have tremendous affection for your faults. Love, love, love your flaws and keep on going, and that’s how you fulfill your purpose in the world. And I think I’m done.
Morgana: Love you too, Tamar.
Morgana: Oh, lord. I hope that this video comes out better with sound and picture than the last ones. Talk to you later, bye.
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