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The real truth about success, suicide, and turning lead into gold

My husband has had the dream of being a published book author for decades. He went back to school, got a Master’s in creative nonfiction, worked on his memoir for 9 years, created writers’ groups to hold himself accountable, submitted his book to hundreds of agents for 3 years, no takers, ended up getting a publishing deal without an agent.
His book, “10,000 Miles With My Dead Father’s Ashes” comes out in bookstores in September.
This morning (his birthday) he woke up to a positive review from Kirkus!!!!! (Heavyweight reviewer, tends to be super harsh critic.)
So thrilled. So proud.

This is what “overnight success” looks like. LOL.

In the meanwhile… why are we in Mexico?
My husband loves to travel. This is my birthday gift to him.
Travel was the first thing that connected us to each other. When we met online, his dating profile name was “Travel Guy.”
For many lonely decades I told the Universe (my name for what you might call God) that I wanted to travel the world with the love of my life. My personified Money “Honey” kept telling to wait for someone who loves me as much as my MH.

My own suicide.

This loneliness was such a deep wound that in 2012, after yet another heartbreak (45 years of romantic failures, folks), I was so lonely and despairing that I made plans for my own suicide. I wrote a note, bought a book on how to do it, hired an attorney to help me create my will, and I set a date.
Fortunately I put my death date far enough in the future that by the time the date came around the despair had lifted.
Something that helped: I used my Financial Alchemy on a Love Monster, just like I teach you to use on your Money Monster.
I met my husband two months after slaying my Love Monster.
2012 turned in to one of the best years of my life.
I also quadrupled my income. Weird, huh?
I’m sharing this because the news of last week’s suicides hit me pretty hard. Especially Anthony Bourdain. I hadn’t been following him closely, but reading about him now, his mission to make the world smaller and other cultures more accessible aligns closely with my values. (Again, one of the reasons I chose my husband: he long ago created his website expressly for that purpose.) The loss feels personal.

Everything changes.

Mostly I’m writing because I want you to know that if you’re in a dark place today, everything can change. Even though the darkness and despair feels like a familiar place you’ve been before, and you have no reason to believe it will get better.
I speak not only for myself but for the many, many clients I’ve coached who have been in that space and have come out the other side. And the ones who are “in it” now.
My life may look like unicorns and rainbows now (and to a large degree, it is), but this month has been consumed by the sad task of emptying my father’s house, seeing treasured heirlooms hauled away in trash trucks when we could not sell or give them away. Lots of tears.
As I’ve shared before, with my grandmother’s passing last year, and my father’s shift into dementia (and no, he doesn’t recognize me anymore), grief is what love feels like. I’m grateful for the experience.
And I worry about the millions of people going through struggles far harder than my own. I won’t go into families being separated and children being put into cages in the United States, but just know this weighs very heavily on my heart.
Again, whatever darkness is happening in your life or in the world, our job is turn lead into gold, every day, to the best of our ability.
And some days, it’s enough just to stay alive one more day. Because we cannot know what magic waits on the other side.

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