Success and the Haters
I used to be a hater.
Hater’s are gonna hate. That’s gonna happen. And here are some tips to turn Hate into Happiness… regardless of whether you’re the giver or the receiver. Cause I’ve been both.
About 15 years ago I was part of an all-women networking group in Santa Monica. Many of us from that group went on to become high profile mentor coaches, speakers and best selling authors.
When the first one of us “broke out” into the bigger money, maybe 12 years ago, she was offering a mastermind for $6,000, and I thought to myself, “Who the heck does she think she is?!”
Then her mastermind rose to $12,000, and I thought to myself, “What the hell? That’s too much!”
The next year the mastermind price rose to $25,000. Again I was offended. “That’s outrageous!”
A year later she sent me an invitation to a 2-day event for $10,000. I thought the price was insane. Again, “No way! Who the heck does she think she is?”
But then I paused, changed my thinking, and thought, “Thank you for showing me what’s possible, and how small my thinking has been.”
I actually went to her $10,000 2 day event. It was huge. Hundreds of people were there.
Again, I thought, “Thank you for showing me what’s possible, and how small my thinking has been.”
I wrote a check for $25,000. I was ready for her mastermind.
Except she raised the price of her $25,000 1-year mastermind to ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS. What the heck? Who the *&^% does she think she is?
And then I paused, and thought, “Thank you for showing me what’s possible, and how small my thinking has been.”
Her example helped me raise my own rates. Again and again.
Jealousy, envy, judgement… they can box us in or raise our self-awareness. Paying attention to my own moments of envy became a super-tool for manifestation.
Pure Hell in Hawaii
A few years later I was speaking at a friend’s seminar in Hawaii and reeling from a broken heart.
I was sharing a room with a girlfriend who was also speaking at the event.
She had just fallen in love and was texting, Skyping, and face-timing her sweetie constantly. Talking about him, their courtship, their travels, their compatibility, and her happiness without stop.
It was intolerable. Pure torture. Ugh!!!!
And then I made a decision: “I want MY OWN hottie to travel the world with.”
In my mind I thanked her for showing me what was possible. (Although it still took me a few months to be able to bear her company.)
I met my husband that year… we’re getting married 100 times in 100 countries! So far we’ve been married 19 times in 15 countries, and our biggest challenge is figuring out where to go next. Uruguay? South Africa? Iceland?
Now I occasionally find myself on the Receiving End of “haters”–people who don’t know me, don’t trust me, and make &^%$ up about my motivations in my business, in my weddings, whatever.
Hater’s gonna hate.
I’ll admit I have a thin skin. It’s not pleasant.
I also notice I’ve never gotten that kind of feedback from my more successful, happy peers.
When the hate shows up, I send out a little “hater spell” for them into the ether:
“May my (and any body else’s) success show you what’s possible for yourself, so that you can have the [love/success/abundance/wholeness] you desire.”
Your prosperity serves the world. We’re not here to support a paradigm where one person’s win takes away from anyone else. The goal here is to raise EVERYONE up–materially, emotionally, spiritually.
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Morgana, you are a class act with just one failing: you have made me run out of superlatives to describe how incredible you are! Thanks for showing what is possible beyond our wildest dreams.
He he I’m having a little giggle here because that’s EXACTLY what I’ve been going through on the receiving end and although it’s tough, I have thin skin too, I send out love because I just know they can get there too.
The best part is that YOU have been my amazing inspiration for what is possible, and I just know it’s possible for me:)
In my opinion you being such an inspiration to so many far outweighs and is of infinitely more value than the few haters( who don’t know what they are talking about anyway)
Thanks for your always,without fail, uplifting and valuable rocking awesome posts.
Sending love from the other positive side:)
Hi Morgana. Thank you for this. I’m going to be devil’s advocate here. And I don’t believe it comes from being small minded or hateful. It comes from wanting to reach through the bubble of priviledge. To help others. If a person’s price tag to attend one of their seminars is $10-25,000 and up, to me this simply boasts of exclusivity, and of a homogeneous audience that finds each other fascinaring. The world is filled with diversity! I am personally grateful for events that are priced fairly and inclusively, so that people from all striations of class may attend, offer their brilliance, and have a voice. To me there’s much more richness in diversity, not in the similarity of who can afford a hundred thousand dollar seminar. With Love, Linden
Very well written and great point! Have to agree with that…
While we wouldn’t all love a $100,000 (x1000) payday,
Isn’t it more rewarding to receive a $100 (x1000+) payday
That you know is going to help out many, many more?
I like your take on this. A very balanced and fair view. Being provided for comes in many ways… and we can choose accordingly. The state of mind is more determing than anything else. Not being part of a high-end-tickets-market does not prove the state of mind you are in, in any shape or form. Goodness abounds always everywhere.
Evenso I love to expand my possibilities…
It is an intruiging fine line I guess: Somehow it is arrogant to NOT embrace the greatness that is within us. The greatness that is our God given right. I am just not sure that would amount to asking for high prices to seminars. A million times $10,- will do too … LOL.
Thanks Morgana for this insightful post.
Hi Linden. You raise excellent points. I think every price point for non-essential goods (meaning not food, medicine, shelter) is fair and inclusive for the group it’s intended for. When I started coaching, first I was free, then I worked my way up to $100 a month, then $275, and on and on. 21 years later I charge much, much more, because I’ve already coached many thousands of people at the lower prices, and I was burning out. I also received feedback that my client results/testimonials were not “believable” when I was charging too little. While my private coaching and Bali retreat is deliberately priced to stretch and grow my clients, and to exclude all but the most courageous and committed and ready… almost everything else I offer–hundreds of videos, articles, interviews–is accessible for free or cheap.
Lovely, Morgana. While it can be a tall order, it is a wonderful thing when we can be truly happy for others success without feeling lack in our own life situation. Success stories are proof that possibilities can be realities!
Beautiful how you changed your thinking from envy and shortness to gratitude and abundance, which is in your life in abundance. Thank you for sharing.
Morgana, Haters will always hate . . . and the greater your success becomes, the harder they hate! Johannes Brahms said, “People who hate and envy will go to great lengths to persuade and infect the souls of others to destroy the people who went to great lengths to become successful.” Earl Nightingale said,”The prisons and the streets where the lonely walk are filled with these kind of people.”
Can you be 100% certain that “Haters will always hate” ..?
And can you be 100% certain that the streets and prisons are filled with “these kind of people”…?
Isn’t your and our world more peaceful when you choose to see the good all around?
With kind regards,
Bless you Morgana for your stories, gifts, suggestions, offers of help and for the different points of view. Thank you for your infectious, delightful thoughts. Much love to you.
Way to Morgana!..thank you for being so honest and relatable..have been experiencing a lot of enviness in the work place and have to keep reminding myself that there really is space for everyone to shine!..yes exposing one self can be scary and subjected to scrutiny from others but all that really matters are the blessings we give to others. BTW wedding #18 in Niagara Falls..WOW!! Exciting I am from the area how cool to have you speak in that city!l..just a thought..big hugs!
Thanks for sharing. I have had haters too and I love your attitude.
I love this truth sharing. Having been on the receiving end of haters for the last five years it would be awesome to get a sweet large ticket payday and make those haters even more envious. Thanks for making it possible for all of us if we shift our thinking.
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