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Success and the Haters

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I used to be a hater.

Hater’s are gonna hate. That’s gonna happen. And here are some tips to turn Hate into Happiness… regardless of whether you’re the giver or the receiver. Cause I’ve been both.

About 15 years ago I was part of an all-women networking group in Santa Monica. Many of us from that group went on to become high profile mentor coaches, speakers and best selling authors.

When the first one of us “broke out” into the bigger money, maybe 12 years ago, she was offering a mastermind for $6,000, and I thought to myself, “Who the heck does she think she is?!”

Then her mastermind rose to $12,000, and I thought to myself, “What the hell? That’s too much!”

The next year the mastermind price rose to $25,000. Again I was offended. “That’s outrageous!”

A year later she sent me an invitation to a 2-day event for $10,000. I thought the price was insane. Again, “No way! Who the heck does she think she is?”

But then I paused, changed my thinking, and thought, “Thank you for showing me what’s possible, and how small my thinking has been.”

I actually went to her $10,000 2 day event. It was huge. Hundreds of people were there.

Again, I thought, “Thank you for showing me what’s possible, and how small my thinking has been.”

I wrote a check for $25,000. I was ready for her mastermind.

Except she raised the price of her $25,000 1-year mastermind to ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS. What the heck? Who the *&^% does she think she is?

And then I paused, and thought, “Thank you for showing me what’s possible, and how small my thinking has been.”

Her example helped me raise my own rates. Again and again.

Jealousy, envy, judgement… they can box us in or raise our self-awareness. Paying attention to my own moments of envy became a super-tool for manifestation.

Pure Hell in Hawaii

A few years later I was speaking at a friend’s seminar in Hawaii and reeling from a broken heart.

I was sharing a room with a girlfriend who was also speaking at the event.

She had just fallen in love and was texting, Skyping, and face-timing her sweetie constantly. Talking about him, their courtship, their travels, their compatibility, and her happiness without stop.

It was intolerable. Pure torture. Ugh!!!!

And then I made a decision: “I want MY OWN hottie to travel the world with.”

In my mind I thanked her for showing me what was possible. (Although it still took me a few months to be able to bear her company.)

I met my husband that year… we’re getting married 100 times in 100 countries! So far we’ve been married 19 times in 15 countries, and our biggest challenge is figuring out where to go next. Uruguay? South Africa? Iceland?

Full Circle

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Now I occasionally find myself on the Receiving End of “haters”–people who don’t know me, don’t trust me, and make &^%$ up about my motivations in my business, in my weddings, whatever.

Hater’s gonna hate.

I’ll admit I have a thin skin. It’s not pleasant.

I also notice I’ve never gotten that kind of feedback from my more successful, happy peers.

When the hate shows up, I send out a little “hater spell” for them into the ether:

“May my (and any body else’s) success show you what’s possible for yourself, so that you can have the [love/success/abundance/wholeness] you desire.”

Your prosperity serves the world. We’re not here to support a paradigm where one person’s win takes away from anyone else. The goal here is to raise EVERYONE up–materially, emotionally, spiritually.

Namaste y’all,

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