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Personal: How I Slayed My Biggest Money Monster

No matter how loving and conscious your relationship with money (and, by extension, life) is… circumstances give us opportunities to test the relationship and take it deeper, by slaying a Money Monster.

This is true for everyone–including myself–so this post is for the reader who’s having trouble going deep enough to uncover and destroy your obstacle to abundance. Keep reading and I’ll share my trick for taking myself deep enough.

But here’s the twist: the root cause of your money obstacle–the “Money Monster”–is never really about money. It really comes from anything that makes you feel unsafe, undeserving, or unloved, and then those dynamics shows up in your money life.

My biggest Money Monster had nothing to do with my personal financial situation. It had everything to do with how I felt about the world and my fear for the future.

I am, I’ll admit, a political nut. I just care a lot about public policy and how it affects–improves or harms–the quality of life for living beings. All these issues around Trump/Putin/Health Care/Climate Change/Public Education/Civil Rights/Nuclear War has had me in a deep state of anxiety since the election.

Since I’ve been doing all the outer actions I can–phone calls, emails, petitions, protests–and was still feeling like a mess, I needed to look inward to make a change.

It was time to clean up my relationship with life and slay a new money monster. This one was, by far, the BIGGEST ONE I HAD EVER BATTLED. This Money Monster was as big as the planet. Maybe bigger.

The Challenge

Here’s the challenge when facing big feelings: sometimes it feels too scary to do it alone. Dangerous feelings can hide from us, to protect us from getting lost too deep without a way back. And we MUST go deep enough to uncover the root cause–the REAL pain behind the pain–or nothing changes. We can’t get rid of a monster without uncovering it first. And that can be scary. This is true even for me. In fact, especially for me: I don’t trust anyone else to coach me through this process.

But I can coach myself if I have a witness. I feel safe to go deeper when I’m not alone.

So here’s what I did: I had my husband sit in front of me silently while I verbally vomited all the stuff I needed to say to get myself into a state to create a monster. And then I did the rest silently while he just sat there, holding the space while I killed my monster and cried and then met my Money Honey.

Lucky for me he knows what I do and respects the process. This only works with a safe person who isn’t going to interrupt you, coach you, or try to fix you–someone who can trust and respect that you can have really big feelings and come out the other side.

(The women who’ve gone with me on my Money Goddess Bali retreat already have a built-in community of sisters who can silently witness them without interruption or judgement. That’s the gift of a tight-knit community that’s been through those depths already, together.)

A Little More Detail about Money Monster Killing

Because readers are always asking me about the monster killing part…

This will be different for each person, and different every time. The only rule is do whatever works, and make sure the monster is completely gone before you attempt to connect with its opposite–the honey.

I dumped all of my fears and outrage into a super giant monster, and then I started killing one monster after another, many in the form of all the people who act as agents of my monster. I just kept going, blowing them up, rejecting their values, until I felt peace.That’s when I knew I could move to the next step: meet my new Money Honey.Morgana Rae showered in Money

(By the way, I’ve never had a monster show up in multiple people before, but this one was too big to fit into one person. Again, whatever works in the moment…)

I imagined where I wanted to meet my new “Money Honey”–my personification of my new relationship with “money,” and he showed up.

This one was a new guy. The big message I got from my Money Honey on the other side was, “Be fierce.” I’m being called to own my strength and believe in myself on a much deeper level, no matter what.

Funny side note: the next day I picked up 4 new clients. It’s funny how that happens. 🙂

 

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  1. alsoknownasbeautiful.com
    May 7, 2018 at 12:23 am

    I absolutely believe in having money monsters ! Just started killing them one after another and noticed so much courage building within me to go after what I am really worth!

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